What's that Buzzing Sound?

Our lives hum with an intensity I haven't felt since our first year of marriage. Back then, my husband was working fulltime for another company and building his manufacturing business. I was teaching ninth graders for the first time and commuting 45 minutes each way every day. We ran, it seemed, from home to work and back home again for more work. In May of that year, I remember walking around our neighborhood, fulfilled and maybe a little tired, rejoicing in our happy marriage.

Now, dismantling one life and trying to rebuild a new one, the crucible comes not so much from incessant busyness but from answering the question, "What's next?" An upcoming meeting (that I both anticipate and dread), will give us insight and finally close the door on my husband's former business. But in the meantime ...?

David Wilkerson, the preacher who was called to minister in inner city New York, writes, "We learn God's faithfulness by answering our calling to stay in fellowship with Jesus."

How do we stay in fellowship? Through prayer and reading the Word and communing with others, of course, but also through walking the path he's laid for us, whether it's corraling a class of miscreats or making cool stuff or writing a story.

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it." (Isaiah 30:21)

It occurred to me this morning that as we move farther down the path, we must leave behind the loss of what was or of what might have been, even a dream carried since childhood.

Perhaps the Lord brings us to these places in order to establish his dream for us. I come back, over and over, to that much-quoted and beloved verse from Jeremiah: "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, to bring you a future and a hope." (Jer. 29:11)

Ten years later, do I still rejoice? Yes. And not just in my happy marriage, but in the foundational work the Lord is doing to keep it that way.

Now, I'm off to write Chapter 12.